Kik Introduction

Hello, and thanks for contacting Me at SatanicMaster on Kik. Three brief notes before we get started:

First: hopefully you came here from My blog, If you came here some other way, for instance typing interesting-sounding names into Kik, you’re probably in the wrong place: I’m not interested in sexy chat with you, and I won’t be your online Master.

Second: if you’ve read My blog you should know that I’m also not a “devil worshiper” or “theistic Satanist.” I don’t believe in a literal God or Devil so if you’re looking for someone to teach you magick rituals for summoning demons, making someone fall in love with you, selling or corrupting your soul, or fixing your sorry-ass life with no effort on your part, you’re out of luck again. I am a philosophical Satanist, and that means that I use Satanic principles to guide My life; they might be able to help you too, but statistically probably not: the Left-Hand Path is not for the masses of sheep, but for the few who are truly striving to awaken.

Third: if you’re a Christian and think I hate God, or need your help to be “saved,” you can also get lost: I probably know the Bible better than you and it’s a shame that you haven’t yet discovered what a pile of unremitting bullshit it is. I’ll pray for you. (Yes, that was sarcastic.)

So if you understand the above and want to continue into a conversation with Me, kindly reply with “Hail Satan!” and we’ll proceed.

— SatanicMaster